Written by Katie Cavenagh for Natural Nutmeg Magazine, March/April, 2026.
Everything in life is a mirror.
What we hold in our inner world is what’s reflected in our outer world. Our beliefs, perceptions, programming, and wounding all help shape our reality, reflecting our experience.
When we look at relationships, people mirror back to us how we see ourselves. Our family, friends, partners, co-workers, and even strangers reflect our current inner state. Knowing this can help lead us to resolve our wounding, change our perception, and transform in that moment.
Be Willing to See the Reflection
Having a growth-focused mindset leaves you open to questioning and transforming who you are. You can only make changes if you truly want to.
When we aren’t open to growth, we take things personally, like an attack on who we are, instead of an invitation to get curious about why we are who we are.
While it’s scary to change a part of you that you’ve identified with for a long time, it’s necessary to ask, “How is this serving me?” If the angry part of you is destroying your life, are you willing to address, explore, and resolve it so you can have a better experience?
When holding onto an emotion (like anger), you put out that energy. You’re met back with the same energy you hold. That’s why you’ll experience encounters with angry people and find yourself in situations that bring out your anger.
Here is where the resolution occurs — in that moment of emotion, are you willing to recognize it’s pointing you inward?
Are you open to acknowledging you’re acting from a pain pattern that’s subconsciously running under the surface?
Can you notice this particular moment is not the same moment in time you’re brought back to while experiencing this pattern?
Recognize the Wound
In the moments of reflection, what is it pointing you to?
Do you immediately feel like a child being reprimanded? Are you brought back to a time of embarrassment with your peers? Is something inside you feeling “not good enough”?
These cues all point us back to our core wounding, which typically clouds our perception as we move through life. Often we live as victims to our circumstance, and see life as proof of how we’re “always broke”, “can’t find a good relationship”, “are so dumb”, or whatever our story is.
When our relationships reflect that feeling to us, we react, replaying our old survival patterns to protect us. We go silent, explode, retreat, break down. Flooded in the emotion, our body is on autopilot, following the only instructions it knows: wound programming.
The moment we notice we’re in a story or pattern, we interrupt it. This is the conscious choice to be present and willing to feel through what’s happening, acknowledging there’s resolution for you.
The people in our lives are drawn in through our vibration, or, the energy we hold. If we think about difficult encounters as opportunities for learning about ourselves, how would life change?
Who would you be if you started responding differently to situations that seem to occur on repeat?
The Resolution is in the Reflection
The moment you are willing to own your narrative, emotions, and behaviors, you begin to resolve the wounding. Awareness and accountability are the first steps. Being able to do this comes from an availability to reflect on yourself deeply.
Handling the brutal honesty and ownership of your patterns is no easy task, but it’ll set you free. It’s meant to teach.
Understanding our inner workings helps us to understand and have compassion for others. We’re all on our own journey of healing and growth. Reflecting helps us become safe in who we are, so others can also feel safe exploring their inner workings.
Looking at relationships through the lens of “what can I learn” helps shape our reality towards love and acceptance. It starts with us looking inward, and experiencing the transformation outwardly.
Book a session to learn what your relationships are reflecting to you.